Coming Back to Life

Hello world, I am waking up. It feels as though I'm Rip Van Winkle and I'm waking up from a long, deep sleep. 2010 has been a trial for me but I've faced trials before and with God's grace and mercy, I've come through the other side. Hopefully 2011 will bring better and brighter things, God willing!

I've been thinking and praying and contemplating for weeks now. You see, I want to reach out and help those who may be sick and struggling, just like me, to show them support and let them know they are not alone. How to do that? All kinds of ideas have tumbled through my mind but I really have no direction. For now, I figure maybe if I share my story and my struggle, my words may reach someone who needs to hear it, who needs inspiration or support and we'll connect. That is my greatest wish. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing my woes and my highlights with you all. Nothing too personal, don't worry.

For more on my writing, be sure to check out my Story Corner on Facebook...http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Blog-for-Author-Melissa-Wathington/189255451168. It will still contain any news and updates concerning my stories and other writings. I hope to have some news to share there by years end so keep an eye out!

So, let me give you the condensed version of what has been going on since Spring 2010. I was feeling pretty great, working out on a weekly basis for the first time in my life and really trying to stay on top of what I was eating, my sleep and all of that. My doctor ordered my annual echo but this time the results were not normal. They showed that my heart function had dropped 15%!! My cardiologist wasn't sure what to make of this change so she had me undergo a chemical stress test (which was THRILLING, by the way) to get more details. Unfortunately that test didn't clear much up for her; it only confirmed what she already knew. She let me know a part of my heart was no longer functioning at all and that caused the decrease. Some changes had to be made and first thing, she took me off an anti-rhythmic medication I'd been on for the past 6 or 7 years, as it could now hurt me more than help me.

Unfortunately, that began a downward spiral for me. Once taken off the medicine, I started to experience bouts of rapid heart rhythm (called tachycardia) more and more frequently. I became more tired and even my thought process became foggy. With the health history I have, I was used to some of these symptoms but rarely did they all converge on me at once. Since June, I've been trying to find a balance of mind and body and have yet to be successful. I'm only now feeling I may've found a good direction. As I've spent a good deal (over 80%) of my lifetime confined to the house, now that I find myself here once again, I really don't know how to deal with it. You think I would be used to it but I'm not.

The foods I can tolerate are changing and everything seems different now that my meds have changed. I really wasn't prepared for this much change at one time. I have to use a wheelchair most of the time now because I get out of breath walking around and my clothes don't fit because I've gained weight (all in my tummy) since this all began. My skin has broken out and for some inexplicable reason, my allergies have been giving me absolute h--- this fall so I'm forever congested.

I deal with feelings of worthlessness and despair. I battle with fear and depression. Even the little I was doing before (getting out and around) is a chore for me now, as my fatigue has gotten to an unbearable point. It's during those times when I could just scream that I close my eyes and talk to God. I know He hears me. Lately some really nice things have been happening. The other day, I received a healing anointing laid on me and my spirit received it openly. God is good to me and I can only hope now He points me in the direction I'm supposed to use this latest challenge.

Have you faced challenges lately? Physical or mental? What helped you deal with them? I'd love to hear from you--I promise to reply to all! Thanks for visiting and if you have any questions or comments please leave them. Until next time, love and blessings~ Melissa