Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man

Ok, so someone let me borrow this new book by Steve Harvey ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN and I'm finding it extremely honest and thought provoking. It's not that he's providing any new information that most women already know but he relays it in a way that makes sure you won't forget it. Basically the premise is this: men are very simple to understand. They want three things: support, loyalty and sex. If they are really in love with you they will provide the three p's. Profession, Protection and Provision. Like I said, not exactly rocket science. But what gets me is that women still don't get it. Years after Men Are Like Mars, Women Like Venus, women are still struggling to "figure men out".

We make things way too hard. I've been clued in since my early 20's. See, as a disabled young woman, the true motivations of men were revealed to me quite early. Because my disabilities are physical, most men are unlikely to approach me. I am what would be considered average looking, with no outstanding physical features. (Not that I don't think I'm attractive because I am...lol) My best quality, however, in my opinion is my personality. And unfortunately many men don't "see" your personality at first glance. This is not to say ALL women with disabilities get the short end of the stick because there are men who are attracted to and do approach women of all kinds. I'm sure if I went around the world and met every single man there is, I would find a few that would like to take me out.

My point here is most men are drawn to the outside package first and foremost. They are then captivated by your charming personality and sharp wit as they get to know you. Reading romances, I've always noticed how 90% of the heroines are physically beautiful, stunning and even those who are average are above average in looks. There are a few authors who have taken on physical disabilities--a heroine with a heart problem, a hero that's blind--but for the most part, everyone is physically appealing. That's because it's meant to be a fantasy. Women want fantasy, right?

When I mentioned this to an editor I met at a romance writers conference once, she told me "If you want to read a story about a women heroine with a disability, write one." That easy, right? Wrong. As much as I can fantasize about a man becoming smitten with a woman who walks with a cane, it's hard to write because it rarely ever happens. What is it about her that draws him to her? I don't have the answer to that question so it's hard to expound. And after I do tall such a tale, who is going to read it? Do romance readers want more reality in their fiction or plain fantasy? Only you know.

So, I have a few questions for all you writers and readers out there, men and women alike-- 1) would you ever write/read a story with a disabled heroine? Why or why not? and 2) As a man/woman have you ever been attracted at first sight to someone of the opposite sex with a physical ailment or disability? Did you act on it?

I look forward to hearing your responses. Until next time....